Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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