I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
