Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
