Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
