What did I eat last night that was bloody?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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