I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
