He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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