omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She even gives head with a lisp.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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