oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
