hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
