so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
