the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
