he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We need to rekindle our bromance
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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