it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
