she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
