It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I wanna passion pit in your ass
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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