Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
