PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
