bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
