When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
