On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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