butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
