Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
