if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
