Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
