yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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