gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
