I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
