Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
