Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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