I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
