Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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