i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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