What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
