I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
now i know why i became what i already was.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
