Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
