He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
