just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
