Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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