So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
