My boss' voice literally gives me gas
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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