I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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