dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
