is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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