he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
A bitchslap is in order.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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