Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
