Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
