I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
