Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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