My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
