i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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