Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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